This is the part of life that I absolutely dread. It happens every so often, it creeps up on me and then WHAM! - it hits me. Life can be great - everything and everyone around me is fine. No issues, no problems - just me. I feel lonely, isolated, small and insignificant. I feel like I'm just lost. And worse than those feeling themselves- is the guilt for feeling this way. "What is wrong with me?", I tell myself. I just want to cry. And I don't want to tell anyone how I feel because I feel foolish, embarrassed and ashamed for feeling like this.
It is one of those days. It's the same routine - Get up. Take hubby to the bus. Back home. Make breakfast. Dress kids. Take boy #1 to school. Take boy #2 to library. Back home. Cartoons. Lunch. Nap..... So on.
But in-between cartoons and nap, somewhere I had a breakdown. I asked my son to take his trash and throw it away. He, being in this terrible 4's stage of sass-mouth, started talking back and I just lost it. I started crying and now I'm all caught up in all these emotions. Most days I can handle it. I am a superhero of sorts - but not today. Today I want to put my pj's back on and go to bed. I want to run away from it all. I want to sleep. Perhaps it's the gloomy day outside. But inside my heart, it feels the same.
