A Wife, And Still A Woman.

I understand that you are busy. That you work Monday through Friday, and come home tired. That sometimes you just want to put the kids to bed and veg out on the couch with the TV on.But what I do not understand is how it came to be that it seems that you have lost your interest in me. I sometimes wonder if you find me as beautiful and charming as you once did. I wonder if I am still funny, or if you still enjoy my laugh and my smile.And I wonder how it happens that I end up upstairs alone,while you sit on the couch. Most of all, I wonder if you understand how it makes me feel.

Lonely, sad, alone, forgotten. As if I am a wife, but like you have forgotten that I am a woman. A woman who wants to feel loved, cherished, and like she is the most beautiful woman in the room. I can now understand how women fall into adulterous sin. Not for the passion, sex or even the thrill, but simply for the chance to feel alive! Like someone acctually wants to make conversation and hear what you have to say. A chance to feel wanted, to feel loved, to feel like a woman.

So lonely I could cry

So lonely I could cry.... Yes, I know that it is a song. In fact I am sure that there is a version by Elvis and also one by Johnny Cash. But unfortunately, it is not the song that I am talking about, but rather my emotions. I have lived in this wonderful state for almost two years now. Acctually, it will be exactly two years in Mid-October. And I have yet to settle in.I have no family here besides that of my husbands. And even worse, not a single friend. Sure there are acquaintances - you know, like from church, kids playdates, ex-co-workers, things like that. But no true friends, you know those are few and far between. My most absolute besties are actually not even in the same state. Celina - whom I have known since high school, lives in CA - and Heather lives in NM. So, as you can see - I am often left with nothing more than phone conversation and emails to express my feelings - and let's face it - media doesn't do you any justice when you just want to scream or cry.............


What about my hubby you ask - good question - what about him? No but really, while he absolutely a wonderful man - a great husband and father - he just doesn't get it. You know, men- while you are spilling your guts out - they just don't understand! Woes me - So, while I am left to deal....... I hope that you can relate - or at least get a chuckle out of this.........