It seems that there has been another full-out-yelling-match at our house. It's funny how these all start the same. . . it's almost as if you can feel them brewing too; They seem to blow in like a storm - and usually have absolutely NO POINT!
A few nights ago, our children were asleep in bed. Actually, they had been sleeping already for a few hours. My sister went to the gym, and took her 2 yr old with her. She has a habit of doing this - keeping the baby out late - even when she is tired. She has failed to establish any type of routine or stability in their lives - but that's not the point. The point is that the baby was already tired when she got home from work - and I told her this- but against my advice (no surprise) she took her out anyway.
Needless to say, when they got home, the baby was exhausted! She took her straight up stairs and attempted to put her to bed. Of-course, as any parent knows, you keep a baby out past their bedtime = meltdown! And what a mother of all meltdowns was it! She screamed for about 30-40 minutes, no exaggeration.
At this point my husband and I were watching tv downstairs - trying to relax - but we could hear everything that was going on above us. My dad was on the computer - and he was making a lot of noise - fumbling through drawers - and just making a lot of noise. This is right next to where our children sleep - so of-course, I was annoyed. At this point, I turned to my husband and said, "What the heck is he doing up there?". Then next thing I know, I hear him walk over to my sisters room - I could hear him talking to her, though it was muffled. Baby still screaming. And then the SLAMMING of a door. To which I got up and went upstairs. As I reached the bottom of the stairs, I heard my sister say, "Why are you slamming my door?" , to which he mumbled something - and she responded, "What's your problem?", to which he responded, (yelling), "What's your problem!". And so it began. This all happend at the same time,as I was headed upstairs saying, "Who's slamming doors up here?". Ugh! Was I in for it. To which my dad replied (explosively)"I am. Do you have a problem with it."
No shit, Shirlock! Congratulations! You win a prize. Of-course I have a problem with it - MY CHILDREN ARE SLEEPING! (engaging "mama bear" status now) To which, my response was. "Yes, I do. My children are asleep up here. What's going on?" I was ignored. So I asked again. "What are you so upset about?" To which I was ordered to go downstairs and to "shut-up". Really??? I said "No. Don't talk to me that way." Which totally pissed him off. His response was that he could talk to me however he wanted. And I said, "No. You can't." Once again I was told to "just go downstairs" and to "mind my own business". I explained that it was my business - since we lived here too, and paid 1/2 rent, 1/2 bills and groceries. (plus my children were sleeping in the next room - HELLO! How is it not any of my business - but I didn't say that)Because I was too busy being YELLED at! At this point was husband came over and was standing at the bottom of the stairs. I could see he was getting upset.
There were a few more word exchanged - a bit more yelling - and then I just went downstairs - like I said it was pointless! The worst part is - I know he sees it as "my fault". We still don't know what he was so upset about? (We assume it is because of the baby's screaming) And No, there will be no apology or even talking about it. Everyone will just go on - as if nothing ever happened. This drives me absolutely CRAZY!
Friday, February 10, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
When the Rules Change. . . .
My current situation has got me thinking a lot lately . . . . . Granted, I got myself into this situation, but what do you do when the rules change - or rather, it has me wondering, When do the rules change?
In most cases, I believe, that our parents have taught us right from wrong. I believe that they teach you to respect your elders, to show kindness to others, to do what is right. I grew up in a very strict home. My parents, my Dad particularly, was very strict with me, being the oldest of four girls. As with most families, I assume, as the years came and went - my parents lightened up a bit. By the time that I was out of the house, and living on my own, my sisters were in trouble for things that I would never dream of doing.
*** Fast forward
Though I have had my share of troubles, I believe myself to be a god person. I try my best to be a good friend, sister, daughter, mother and wife.
I suppose that all those years of "training" have had some effect on me. I mean, it has shaped me into the person that I am today. Though my parents may have been overly strict - I still agree with most of their training - to a point. For example, I believe that a boy and girl should not be in their bedroom alone, with the door closed (we've all been there and know what goes on .... need I say more); I feel awkward watching a hot and steamy scene on a movie while my parents and grandmother are in the room. Catch my drift? I mean really, I'm not a prude. I have two children - and a great sex life (just ask my husband). But I guess you can say that I am a bit old school when it comes to things like this.
Odd as it is - I find myself in a situation where I feel like the mother. My family (husband and children) are currently living with my father, and two of my sisters, one which has a two year old daughter. My sister is still somewhat childish - and her lack of responsibility, and motherly instinct drives me crazy! My 50 year old father has just started dating again - and this is a little weird for all of us.
It's not that I care so much what they do - but it bothers me when it comes to my children. I don't approve of any actions that would cause my children to ask "those" questions. Perhaps I am just not ready to have to explain to them why their grandma and grandpa are not married, or why grandma has a boyfriend - and grandpa a girlfriend. I don't want to explain why their cousins daddy only comes to see her once every few months - and then stays the night in aunties room.
Seriously! Am I the only person that this bothers? When did the rules change? Just because my father is 50 - does it mean that it is okay that he takes his girlfriend to his room? (Which is right across the hall from where my boys sleep.) And my sister - her three year - on-again off-again relationship had me tired. Her baby daddy doesn't seem to really care about her. He lives in another city about 10+ hours away - doesn't pay his child support, or help contribute raising his child in any way - has repeatedly been seeing other women - and has the audacity to tell her how to raise his child. Yeah! Get a clue buddy! And then she makes it so easy for him to stomp all over her. And just before he comes into town - or she goes to see him, they make up so that they can play the happy little family - as if we can not see right through the bull-shit. And I'm supposed to be ok when he comes into town and wants to sleep in her room. Really! No, not happening. And it's not that I believe them to be doing anything in there - it's just the point! The moral reasoning behind it all. I mean does anyone else see what I am talking about?
I'm not trying to be their mother, but when do the rules change? The things that were once unacceptable and frowned upon become the norm. I may not be their parent - but I am the parent, the mother to two impressionable little ones, who happen to live under the same roof. Lord help me! I'm trying my absolute best to keep my big mouth shut! But I am having a rather difficult time this time around. 6 months to go and I am counting down - believe me.
In most cases, I believe, that our parents have taught us right from wrong. I believe that they teach you to respect your elders, to show kindness to others, to do what is right. I grew up in a very strict home. My parents, my Dad particularly, was very strict with me, being the oldest of four girls. As with most families, I assume, as the years came and went - my parents lightened up a bit. By the time that I was out of the house, and living on my own, my sisters were in trouble for things that I would never dream of doing.
*** Fast forward
Though I have had my share of troubles, I believe myself to be a god person. I try my best to be a good friend, sister, daughter, mother and wife.
I suppose that all those years of "training" have had some effect on me. I mean, it has shaped me into the person that I am today. Though my parents may have been overly strict - I still agree with most of their training - to a point. For example, I believe that a boy and girl should not be in their bedroom alone, with the door closed (we've all been there and know what goes on .... need I say more); I feel awkward watching a hot and steamy scene on a movie while my parents and grandmother are in the room. Catch my drift? I mean really, I'm not a prude. I have two children - and a great sex life (just ask my husband). But I guess you can say that I am a bit old school when it comes to things like this.
Odd as it is - I find myself in a situation where I feel like the mother. My family (husband and children) are currently living with my father, and two of my sisters, one which has a two year old daughter. My sister is still somewhat childish - and her lack of responsibility, and motherly instinct drives me crazy! My 50 year old father has just started dating again - and this is a little weird for all of us.
It's not that I care so much what they do - but it bothers me when it comes to my children. I don't approve of any actions that would cause my children to ask "those" questions. Perhaps I am just not ready to have to explain to them why their grandma and grandpa are not married, or why grandma has a boyfriend - and grandpa a girlfriend. I don't want to explain why their cousins daddy only comes to see her once every few months - and then stays the night in aunties room.
Seriously! Am I the only person that this bothers? When did the rules change? Just because my father is 50 - does it mean that it is okay that he takes his girlfriend to his room? (Which is right across the hall from where my boys sleep.) And my sister - her three year - on-again off-again relationship had me tired. Her baby daddy doesn't seem to really care about her. He lives in another city about 10+ hours away - doesn't pay his child support, or help contribute raising his child in any way - has repeatedly been seeing other women - and has the audacity to tell her how to raise his child. Yeah! Get a clue buddy! And then she makes it so easy for him to stomp all over her. And just before he comes into town - or she goes to see him, they make up so that they can play the happy little family - as if we can not see right through the bull-shit. And I'm supposed to be ok when he comes into town and wants to sleep in her room. Really! No, not happening. And it's not that I believe them to be doing anything in there - it's just the point! The moral reasoning behind it all. I mean does anyone else see what I am talking about?
I'm not trying to be their mother, but when do the rules change? The things that were once unacceptable and frowned upon become the norm. I may not be their parent - but I am the parent, the mother to two impressionable little ones, who happen to live under the same roof. Lord help me! I'm trying my absolute best to keep my big mouth shut! But I am having a rather difficult time this time around. 6 months to go and I am counting down - believe me.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Resolutions, Goals, Dreams . . .
Call them what you will her is a look at my list for 2012! (the short version)
MY FAMILY
1. Healthier & Happier
*Eating Healthier
*Less t.v. more outdoor activity as a family
2. More Quality Time
*Reading Time more often
*Putting my little ones to bed until they fall asleep
*Establishing family traditions (more to come on this)
3. Striving to be a better parent
*Patience, patience, patience
*Learn to let the little things go
MYSELF
1. Taking Care of Myself
*Physically - getting into shape
*Updating my wardrobe
*Freshly painted fingernails & toes
overall- making more time for myself.
MY MARRIAGE
1. More Sex! (ha ha - just had to put this one in for my husband)
Here's to a better year my friends! Cheers!
MY FAMILY
1. Healthier & Happier
*Eating Healthier
*Less t.v. more outdoor activity as a family
2. More Quality Time
*Reading Time more often
*Putting my little ones to bed until they fall asleep
*Establishing family traditions (more to come on this)
3. Striving to be a better parent
*Patience, patience, patience
*Learn to let the little things go
MYSELF
1. Taking Care of Myself
*Physically - getting into shape
*Updating my wardrobe
*Freshly painted fingernails & toes
overall- making more time for myself.
MY MARRIAGE
1. More Sex! (ha ha - just had to put this one in for my husband)
Here's to a better year my friends! Cheers!
Happy New Year - 2012!
Happy New Year dear friends! I hope that 2012 is a wonderful year for you. Just as a brand new baby brings excitement and wonder, I hope that the anticipation of this year does the same for you.
“Each new day is a blank page in the diary of your life. The secret of success is in turning that diary into the best story you possibly can.” I wish you Happy New Year and diary full of best stories ever written in your life.
Douglas Pagels – (Addition to Quote by Muhammad Shaharyar Khan)
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Do superhero's ever retire?
Sometimes I consider "trading spaces", though only with myself. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to stop working on all my little side projects and simply be. I was trying to explain this idea to my husband the other night, and found it really hard to do. So, I will try my best to explain it to you.
Do you ever wonder if Superhero's retire? Usually, they live forever or get killed off, or your favorite tv show gets discontinued, or something like that. But do you they ever retire? Do they ever get tired of it all? Saving the damsels in distress, rescuing tiny children from being crushed by the out of control car, saving the city from monstrosity - Do they ever want to hang it all up?; Trade it in for a little peace and quite or even the occasional party?
Hmmmm.... this is how I feel. Not that I consider myself a "superhero". I'm not out to save the world, only to make a small difference to a few. I know that I am fortunate enough to know my calling. At times, I am super excited! I have ideas - and I have actually seen the impact we make. It's exciting! I feel re-charged with each stride that we make. But then on the other hand, I just want to give it all up. I want to settle down with my family. Buy a small house, have holiday parties, establish some family traditions of our own- ya know? I suppose that it is the ever constant battle between my heart and mind. . . . .who knows.
Do you ever wonder if Superhero's retire? Usually, they live forever or get killed off, or your favorite tv show gets discontinued, or something like that. But do you they ever retire? Do they ever get tired of it all? Saving the damsels in distress, rescuing tiny children from being crushed by the out of control car, saving the city from monstrosity - Do they ever want to hang it all up?; Trade it in for a little peace and quite or even the occasional party?
Hmmmm.... this is how I feel. Not that I consider myself a "superhero". I'm not out to save the world, only to make a small difference to a few. I know that I am fortunate enough to know my calling. At times, I am super excited! I have ideas - and I have actually seen the impact we make. It's exciting! I feel re-charged with each stride that we make. But then on the other hand, I just want to give it all up. I want to settle down with my family. Buy a small house, have holiday parties, establish some family traditions of our own- ya know? I suppose that it is the ever constant battle between my heart and mind. . . . .who knows.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Conflicted
Before we left CO to move to SA, I was working as a manager for a local fast-casual concept. I loved my job! There was only one problem - they were ready to make me a GM (general manager). I know! What a big problem - you might think to yourself. And it's not that I couldn't handle it, or was scared, because I wasn't. My problem was that I was not ready to sacrifice my family for the sake of my job. As a GM, the store becomes your baby! Every waking hour, people always calling and texting you. But as an Assistant, there is not as much pressure or responsibility. I loved my job- and I kinda rocked at it too! (not to toot my own horn, but, Toot! Toot!) The part of TX we moved to does not have this concept here. So, I could not transfer.
Anyway- I often check back on the employment situation with them online - just out of curiosity. Yesterday I saw a posting for managers in TX!!! I was very excited to see this - and my mind began to race.
Now that I've been home for a few months, I really am enjoying it - we'll for the most part. My husband and I have talked about me going to work - just part time. Not out of necessity, but so that we can work towards being debt free. (another post in itself) I'd really like the opportunity to work for this company again (particularly in corporate, but you have to work your way in) because I love the company so much - and I do an awesome job in the food industry. But, the hours suck! Now, I'm conflicted - and I know I do not have to make a decision right now, - but I could not turn my mind off! I couldn't sleep! I was tossing and turning, and even had to get up and drink some hot tea. Finally, somewhere between breathing exercises and prayers, I seemed to doze off to sleep. I really have not felt this anxious in a long time - and I was surprised a how fast it happened. Well, only time will tell what decision is made. Until then. . .
Anyway- I often check back on the employment situation with them online - just out of curiosity. Yesterday I saw a posting for managers in TX!!! I was very excited to see this - and my mind began to race.
Now that I've been home for a few months, I really am enjoying it - we'll for the most part. My husband and I have talked about me going to work - just part time. Not out of necessity, but so that we can work towards being debt free. (another post in itself) I'd really like the opportunity to work for this company again (particularly in corporate, but you have to work your way in) because I love the company so much - and I do an awesome job in the food industry. But, the hours suck! Now, I'm conflicted - and I know I do not have to make a decision right now, - but I could not turn my mind off! I couldn't sleep! I was tossing and turning, and even had to get up and drink some hot tea. Finally, somewhere between breathing exercises and prayers, I seemed to doze off to sleep. I really have not felt this anxious in a long time - and I was surprised a how fast it happened. Well, only time will tell what decision is made. Until then. . .
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Family-
I have come to a frightening conclusion. As much as I love my family (mother, father and siblings) - I have determined that it is best that I live away from them - as in not in the same city. I now remember why I moved away - and I think that I was used to that lifestyle - being away. I am somewhat saddened, but somewhat at peace. It does not mean that I do not love my family - because I do. It just means, to me, that I am a better person away from the day to day drama. This experience has taught me so many things.
First, it has taught me to never take things for granted. I am now open to ideas about life that I may not have been so open to before. I am ready to embrace it with the newness that comes with the new year. Secondly, it has taught me to value the times (good and bad) with my children, more than I had before. During this experience, I have been so busy taking care of everyone else in the household (not by choice, at times) that there have been times when I felt that my children came second. This absolutely brakes me, because everything that I do - and want to do is for my husband and my children. It has also taught me that I made a wise choice in marrying my handsome husband. Though there were plenty of opportunities to complain - he has never said a thing! Lastly, this is experience confirmed that I do not really care for the state of TX - and that CO, surprisingly is home. I miss it, the beauty of the mountains and the sky - yes, even the snowy days. I miss our church, and the friends who are like family. I am hoping that we have the opportunity to move back sooner than later. Overall, I believe that this experience has taught me to embrace life - not to just live it, but to truly make the best of every moment. I only hope that I can live up to my new expectations of myself - and soak up every moment.
First, it has taught me to never take things for granted. I am now open to ideas about life that I may not have been so open to before. I am ready to embrace it with the newness that comes with the new year. Secondly, it has taught me to value the times (good and bad) with my children, more than I had before. During this experience, I have been so busy taking care of everyone else in the household (not by choice, at times) that there have been times when I felt that my children came second. This absolutely brakes me, because everything that I do - and want to do is for my husband and my children. It has also taught me that I made a wise choice in marrying my handsome husband. Though there were plenty of opportunities to complain - he has never said a thing! Lastly, this is experience confirmed that I do not really care for the state of TX - and that CO, surprisingly is home. I miss it, the beauty of the mountains and the sky - yes, even the snowy days. I miss our church, and the friends who are like family. I am hoping that we have the opportunity to move back sooner than later. Overall, I believe that this experience has taught me to embrace life - not to just live it, but to truly make the best of every moment. I only hope that I can live up to my new expectations of myself - and soak up every moment.
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